For many people, the period of time following a divorce can be just as difficult as going through the divorce itself. Newly-single individuals must get used to what it's like being alone, and for some that is not an easy task. Understandably, it can be especially difficult when people carry ill feelings toward their exes.
However, a recent study determined that there might be a way to move on with more ease after a divorce. After surveying 38 men and 67 women, all of who had been married at least 13 and were divorced about three to four months prior, researchers found that people with a certain characteristic were able to recover, emotionally speaking, much faster than others.
Researchers from the University of Arizona found that people with the highest amounts of self-compassion were best off emotionally in the months following a divorce. The study defined self-compassion as having higher levels of kindness toward oneself, recognizing being part of a common humanity and letting go of a painful past.
The best part of the findings, the study's co-author said, is that this is that self-compassion is a frame of mind that people can achieve without having to change personality traits, such as anxiousness. He said that the findings could be used to help people stuck in a rut following a divorce or separation.
The researchers said that they looked at several positive personality traits, including self-esteem, optimism and ease forming relationships, but self-compassion stood out as having the biggest impact on people post-divorce. The key is to view the past as just a part of life's bigger journey and let go of resentment and anger, the co-author said.
The results of the study will appear in a future issue of the journal Psychological Science. It will be interesting to see how this discovery can help people struggling with emotions after a divorce. The good news is that it appears that a happier post-divorce life is achievable for everyone.
Source: USA TODAY, "'Self-compassion' can help divorced people heal," Robert Preidt, Sept. 30, 2011.
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